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(Burnt to the core but not broken...) [08 Jul 2009|11:44pm] Nothing can be said to improve on these, especially side-by-side. Drunk and Stoned.

(6 run to the water, and find me there | Burnt to the core but not broken...) Public Service Announcement [23 Apr 2009|07:47pm] [ mood | confused ] This journal is friends-only, because having the eyes of the entire Village of the Interwebs fixed on my blog really gives me the willies. If you're interested, though, in being let into this secret world of inane ramblings and hopefully exciting things, leave a comment and I'll see what I can do. And now, for your viewing pleasure, I give you a nebula:

(Burnt to the core but not broken...) OMG COOL! [17 Mar 2009|09:33pm] http://www.badassoftheweek.com/list.html

(2 run to the water, and find me there | Burnt to the core but not broken...) ?? [02 Mar 2009|03:41pm] So, two days ago we were merrily flying a kite in beautiful weather. Today, we've got 12 inches of snow and it's 22 degrees out. They weren't kidding when they said March is tricky!

(1 run to the water, and find me there | Burnt to the core but not broken...) I'm working on an essay, so for now... [22 Feb 2009|04:28pm] Look at this. It's completely awesome. REAL writing to come later! (Actual results may vary.)

(24 run to the water, and find me there | Burnt to the core but not broken...) We're officially engaged!! [16 Feb 2009|02:49pm] Ari proposed to me yesterday, on our four-year anniversary. He took me out on a surprise trip to an unknown destination. It happened to be the baggage claim of JFK Airport...the first place we had seen each other, the place where it all began. He got down on one knee, took out the ring he'd smuggled out of my room without my knowing, and asked me. I said yes, of course...that there was nothing in the world I'd rather do than marry him. He seemed really frightened, and I didn't know why until after...he had carried the ring there in an empty spice box (it still smells of paprika :P) and it turns out that when he took a rattling container out of his pocket and opened it, the security guards were looking at him really suspiciously. When they saw him get down on one knee, one guard rolled his eyes and turned back to his paperwork (I guess they're not into romance?). But anyway, poor Ari was understandably shaken. Then we went over to visit the home of our good friend and official wedding planner, who proceeded to deviously torment Ari (in good fun, of course)...along with nicer things. It was wonderful to have the blessings of Elke and her family, and it was a fun visit. He's so incredibly, wonderfully romantic! Turns out he'd been planning it for the last four months, and everyone knew about it but me ("everyone" being his entire family and Elke). It's almost impossible for him to plan something long-term, in secret. It really shows just how much this meant to him...he really wanted to do it right (which he certainly did!). I can't begin to describe how happy or lucky I feel to have him, or to be marrying him. The ring fits, but he fits better. Nowhere else could I find such a smart, hot, nerdy, ethical, funny, antiquated, devious, strong, eccentric, trustworthy guy who's insane enough to be such a match for me. Four years later, he still surprises me every day. I love him more than anything...we supplement each other, and together we make a whole. I can't wait to see what wonderful things our lives will hold together.

(2 run to the water, and find me there | Burnt to the core but not broken...) Watch as Amanda attempts to comprehend sports... [01 Feb 2009|04:18pm] GO TEAM! All hail the festivities of the Superb Owl! (Just kidding...I never watch television. Just trying to fit in!)

(4 run to the water, and find me there | Burnt to the core but not broken...) Bow down to your nerd queen! [29 Jan 2009|08:14pm]

(Burnt to the core but not broken...) Let's talk about the weather? [17 Jan 2009|01:03pm] [ mood | yay! ] OMG my first real winter...hasn't gotten above 25F since Sunday! Yesterday was great with a high of 19F, today's 21; that's pretty good for a lot of the country, eh? After all, Maine is -50F today. I wonder what that feels like... Anyway, with La Nina and an abnormal deficit of sunspots and solar flares, the humble people of Earth are having a ball this year :P Have pride in your distant ancestors who, despite deadly weather, meager food, and everything trying to kill them, used their smarts to brave the Ice Age and survived. They're the reason we're alive to say that 19F feels like cold. Thank you incredibly for all your birthday wishes! Quiet as it was, it may have been my best birthday yet. It was a day of considerable luck and feeling very special and loved. It's wonderful to not take things for granted.

(Burnt to the core but not broken...) [03 Jan 2009|09:38am] We're leaving my family's home for the open road today. Wish us luck! We plan to take it easy and won't pull any more 12-hour driving shifts (no more time limit, yay!). Hence, we should be back in Joisey in 5-7 days. See you then! We'll have pictures and such.

(Burnt to the core but not broken...) New words to live by. [15 Dec 2008|08:30pm] [ mood | tired ] As you fight your way through life, this is very important to remember. These words are found in Eye of the Storm, by The Cruxshadows...I could not have said them better myself: If you find the courage within you To face the path ahead It matters not the outcome IF what you will gain instead Is a heart deepened in the knowing That experience carves the soul And the very thing that empties you Shall surely make you whole. In the end, it's truly worth it. ( If you're still in the mood for profound lyrics... ) Tomorrow's my last day at the bookstore. We're leaving on the road trip Friday. News upon news...

(2 run to the water, and find me there | Burnt to the core but not broken...) I'm afraid of 18 out of 72 common fears... [28 Nov 2008|06:53pm] Post it, please? Mine are as follows: [ ] the dark [ ] staying single forever [ ] being a parent [X] giving birth [ ] being myself in front of others [ ] open spaces [X] closed spaces [ ] heights [ ] dogs [ ] birds [ ] fish [ ] spiders [ ] flowers or other plants Total so far: 2 [ ] being touched [x] fire [X] deep water [ ] snakes [ ] silk [X] the ocean [ ] failure [ ] success [ ] thunder/lightning [ ] frogs/toads [ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad [ ] boyfriends/girlfriends mom [ ] rats [x] jumping from high places [ ] snow Total so far: 6 [ ] rain [ ] wind [ ] crossing hanging bridges [x] death [ ] heaven [x] being robbed [x] falling [X] clowns [ ] dolls [x] large crowds of people [ ] men [ ] women [ ] having great responsibilities [ ] doctors, including dentists [X] tornadoes Total so far: 12 [X] hurricanes [x] incurable diseases [ ] sharks [ ] Friday the 13th [ ] ghosts [ ] poverty [ ] Halloween [ ] school [ ] trains [ ] odd numbers [ ] even numbers [ ] being alone [x] becoming blind [ ] becoming deaf [x] growing up Total so far: 16 [X] creepy noises in the night [ ] bee stings [ ] not accomplishing my dreams/goals [ ] needles [ ] blood [ ] dinosaurs [ ] the welcome mat [ ] high speeds [X] throwing up [ ] falling in love [ ] super secrets Final Total: 18 ... if you wish to post this in your journal, it's been requested that you title it "I'm afraid of _ out of 72 common fears" If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling. If you get more than 20, you’re paranoid. If you get 10-20, you are normal. If you get 10 or less, you’re fearless. People who don’t have any are liars.

(Burnt to the core but not broken...) Just felt like saying it... [05 Oct 2008|09:21pm] I drive a friggin' huge 11-year-old 280-horsepower automatic V8 which, miraculously, gets 16mpg city and 20mpg highway. Plus, it has a subwoofer. My car frickin' ROCKS!

(1 run to the water, and find me there | Burnt to the core but not broken...) It may be cheesy, but this shows who I truly am...been wanting to do this for a while. [03 Oct 2008|06:41pm] [ mood | impressed ] Please, copy this idea! I want to know who you truly are. If you want to know who I am, please take the time and read through this. Here are some things that make me unique, both good and bad: I am Sicilian, German, and Dutch. I had the immense privilege of growing up in the country and now, living in One Massive Suburb (aka New Jersey), I ache to return to my rural roots. The more secluded, the better. I recovered from near-death anorexia without a single major relapse, and I will never take confidence, or living, for granted ever again. I'm excessively emotional, but I'm also highly logical. This makes for some interesting problems. I moved across the country to be with my boyfriend, and after 3 1/2 years together we are even more immensely happy. I strongly believe that living a life of honesty and morality is rewarding unto itself. I grew up very poor. In a lot of ways this sucked, but in many other ways I am immensely grateful for it. I take nothing for granted and I automatically stretch money a long way. I take pride in saving money and buying only the bare minimum. I've supported myself financially since I was 19 years old. I am talented in science and math, but I'm also talented in English and art. Food is SO GOOD! I delight in cooking and eating strange dishes from all over the world (especially Sicilian, Indian, Thai, Malaysian, Greek, and Hispanic). I especially like strong and exotic cheeses. I analyze things constantly. I ponder over supposedly mundane things, trying desperately to decipher them. I've noticed (to my shock) that most people don't think twice about things. So, in this way, I see the world in a truly unique light. I try very hard to find the hidden wisdom in whatever happens to me, to get my money's worth out of every experience. If we simply let it, anything can teach us something. I can be shy, but I can also be imposing when I need to be. I LOVE road trips. I take great meaning out of all sorts of music. I'm in love with classic rock, swing, metal, alternative, big band, gothic, electronic, blues, classical, and.... there must be more I'm forgetting. There's a genre for every mood. I love dressing up, yet I haven't worn make-up a single day in my life. I have an irrational hatred for people disrupting my private life unannounced (knocks on the door, noise from down the street, defacers of property, etc). I'm not exactly a good neighbor and yes, I know it's stupid to be upset by this stuff. Other forms of life delight and fascinate me. Every species has something to teach us, just as we have things to teach them. We're not that different from them, after all...all that we have is a highly specialized niche and a very unusual brain. I go to class to LEARN, not for a grade or for my diploma. Those are just by-products of learning. When I catch someone cheating, or defacing someone's property, or stealing...I report them, and I tell them so. I don't care how close I am with them...I have NO tolerance for such things, and I'm proud of it. I am fiercely interested in all sorts of things: fantasy/sci-fi, cooking, camping/hiking, music, birdwatching, martial arts, car repair, gardening, paleontology, ecology, history, films...the list is diverse and endless. I beat most of my male coworkers in arm-wrestling, and I can lift Ari off the ground. I DESPISE gossip, social drama, celebrity news, and grief-mongering...I'm interested in my own life and in those close to me. Everyone else deserves to be left in peace. I LOVE the way thinking makes my brain feel. Hence, I vow to never stop thinking and analyzing until I'm dead. ----------------------------------------------------------------

(Burnt to the core but not broken...) Try our new zesty owl! [27 Sep 2008|11:23pm] I must admit that as much as I love wildlife, this PostSecret card REALLY cracked me up. Talk about dark humor...

(Burnt to the core but not broken...) Uncanny dreams! [23 Sep 2008|08:19am] My internal clock never ceases to amaze me. I was having this dream and I knew that I would have to wake up soon, so in my dream I informed Ari. Amanda: I've gotta go. I have five minutes left. Ari: I'm going with you. I won't leave your side. Amanda: Ok, let's go. And JUST THEN...the alarm clock goes off. So apparently, I still have a little romantic dream-Ari who will now run around with me all day. YAY!

(5 run to the water, and find me there | Burnt to the core but not broken...) *is a roller coaster of emotions* [18 Sep 2008|09:37pm] [ mood | uncomfortable ] This is crazy! Two girls at work are 5 months pregnant, I helped four VERY pregnant customers today, and everyone's bringing their little toddlers in to shop! And now, as I sit here shedding the remnants of another month's unused egg, my body's very frustrated and feeling very empty. "You've been fertile for ten years, Amanda, and nothing?--you'd better get crackin'!", it says. But, I also feel bad for these students who'll need to raise a family, work, and go to school at the same time. They obviously made a mistake by having children so early. On one hand, I ache for kids. My life won't be truly fulfilled until I become a mother. Ari and I can't wait to have a family. Every time I see a child something in my mind, body, and soul wrenches painfully and I ache to have one of my own. On the other hand, the idea that I'll need to support the needs of another, 24/7, for the rest of my life, terrifies me. I'm glad Ari and I are waiting for marriage to "get busy"--this ensures that there's NO possibility of parenthood before we're ready for it. We'll be able to ensure that our children have parents who are emotionally, mentally, and financially able to give them the best lives possible. I don't know, though...I just ache. I think I need a hug. Every month that goes by makes me shed one more gamete, each with its own unique set of traits. Every month that goes by sheds one more unique child that I could have had but now, will never have. I can't help but wonder what each of them would be like.

(2 run to the water, and find me there | Burnt to the core but not broken...) Amanda's Favorites Vol. 5! [01 Sep 2008|10:42am] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | EVERYTHING ] In light of school starting, I've put together my newest compilation of wonderful songs. This never fails in cheering me up. Grab a copy if you so choose...it's free music, and good music too! Here's the album for download: Amanda's Vol. 5 Songs 1-9 Amanda's Vol. 5 Songs 10-18 I'm very proud of this one--it came out fabulous. I hereby announce that ( this CD contains... )

(18 run to the water, and find me there | Burnt to the core but not broken...) A wondrous game for everyone's enjoyment! [20 Aug 2008|07:46pm] [ music | everything ] This has been going around and I've never done it, so now's the time. Great way to rediscover forgotten music on your playlist, as I've learned! Go ahead...guess away! If you like the look of any of the lyrics, just let me know and I'll tell you who they're from and possibly send you a song or two. One thing: does anyone know how to make a strike-through using LJ HTML? Of all the things, I still haven't figured it out. Step 1: Put your iTunes or equivalent on random. Step 2: Post the first line from the first 50 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing. Step 3: Strike out the songs when someone guesses the titles and artists correctly and put the name of the song/who sings it and the username of the person who guessed it at the end of the lyric. Step 4: Looking them up on google or any other search engine is CHEATING!!! 1. Half a mile from the county fair, and the rain came pouring down...Van Morrison--And it Stoned Me-thedarkcrystal 2. You tell me I can’t slow down, you tell me where I’ve gotta be, I spin into the darkness, and I swear that I can't see a thing in front of me...Rob Dougan--I'm Not Driving Anymore-thedarkcrystal 3. You’ve got your ball, you’ve got your chain, tied to me tight...Dave Matthews Band--Crash-thedarkcrystal 4. At night they would go walkin’ ‘til the breakin’ of the day...the morning is for sleepin’...Coldplay--Cemeteries of London-hodudududuh 5. From the back street, from the gutter, hear the sound of God stutter... 6. Tonight i feel so weak, but all in love is fair...Melissa Etheridge--Somebody Bring Me Some Water-thedarkcrystal 7. Should I have believed that I was still a boy?Toad the Wet Sprocket--Know Me-thedarkcrystal 8. One fine day in hell, the master told a story... 9. Hide the window watching, give hands that push the faces back... 10. You’re all I want, all I need, all I’ve got, all I see...Rob Dougan--All I Want-thedarkcrystal 11. “She’s made it through the wilderness somehow, she’s made it through!”Moulin Rouge! soundtrack--Like a Virgin-hodudududuh 12. Stay by me, stay by me...you are the one, my only true... 13. Wait for the trap he has set, and wait for his prey... 14. Mama take this badge from me, I can’t use it anymore...Bob Dylan--Knockin' on Heaven's Door-rewhite, thedarkcrystal 15. At a tombstone bar in a juke joint car, he made a stop... 16. Gods and angels and devils smile.... 17. Let the world be the world, let the dream unfurl, let it run its own game, let it dance with itself... 18. Heeey now, you’d better listen to me, every one of you... 19. In the afterlife, gonna be headed for some serious strife...you’re gonna make the scene today, but tomorrow there’ll be hell to pay...Squirrel Nut Zippers--The Afterlife-rewhite 20. Crazy how it feels tonight...crazy how you make it all alright, love...Dave Matthews Band--Crush-thedarkcrystal (had said "Crazy", but you obviously know it since you gave it to me lol) 21. Something’s shiny in the sky, there ain’t a cloud in sight.... 22. Dance on, gypsy queen... 23. Two gunslingers walked out in the street and one said, “I don’t wanna fight no more”... 24. Insolent boy this slave of fashion, basking in your glory...Phantom of the Opera--Music of the Night</b>-katinator44 25. Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away, now it looks as though they’re here to stay...The Beatles--Yesterday-hodudududuh, thedarkcrystal, rewhite 26. Monkey chased the other monkey up the tree, said, “stop your playing, you can’t fool me!”...Asylum Street Spankers--Monkey Rag-rewhite 27. You always won every time you placed a bet...you’re still damn good, no one’s gotten to you yet... 28. The rains were silent...there was nothing, no, nothing around for miles... 29. When the moon is in the seventh house, and Jupiter collides with Mars, then peace will guide the planet, and love will steer the stars.5th Dimension--Age of Aquarius-hodudududuh, rewhite 30. I like to dream, yes, yes, right between my sound machine...Steppenwolf--Magic Carpet Ride-rewhite 31. Midnight, our sons and daughters were cut down and taken from us... 32. Where you are, that’s where I wanna be...Dave Matthews Band--Where are You Going?-thedarkcrystal 33. Is it too late to go in peace? I wonder how these things did start, anyway... 34. If I ventured in the slipstream, between the viaducts of your dreams...Van Morrison--Astral Weeks-hodudududuh 35. Sally Jo Sally Jo, sweetest little girl I know...The Trashmen--Sally Jo-rewhite 36. Oooooh! Open wide, oh-so-good I eat you, take me for a ride...Dave Matthews Band--Rapunzel-thedarkcrystal 37. On the street below these walls, where I used to walk, now I can barely crawl...Morten Harket--Ready to go Home-hodudududuh (in my case a different band than guessed, but it's definitely the same song!) 38. When will we be married Molly, when will we be wed?The Waterboys--When Will We Be Married?-thedarkcrystal 39. Father, I know now, your life’s been stretched too long... 40. Noldor, blood is on your hands, your fate a tearful destiny...Blind Guardian--(Noldor) Dead Winter Reigns-burasama 41. One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do...Three Dog Night--One is the Loneliest Number-rewhite got it, but katinator44, burasama, and thedarkcrystal get recognition for "recognizing" it. 42. Started talking and the line went dead, never heard a single word you said... 43. Midnight on a subway she’s on her way home... 44. Any way you want it, that’s the way you need it, any way you want it... 45. I’m so glad you came, I’m so glad you remembered... 46. My body’s made of fire, black and deep and cold, burning for the choice I made so many years ago... 47. This house is like Russia, with eyes cold and grey...Tori Amos--Take to the Sky-thedarkcrystal 48. Well, I would’ve drank whiskey but I can’t hear myself... 49. Those who are dead are not dead, they’re just living in my head, and since I fell for that spell, I am living there as well...Coldplay--42-hodudududuh 50. Don’t tread on me!Metallica--Don't Tread on Me-thedarkcrystal

(Burnt to the core but not broken...) I never post videos but for now, a stirring exception to my rule: [18 Aug 2008|10:29pm] [ mood | shocked ] Apparently, Painfully 80's mixes well with Painfully Japanese... She drives out of her own robotic head in a stylish new car, singing?! Now wasn't that educational, boys and girls?

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