|An old dream...
||[Aug. 9th, 2003|08:07 am]
I've been looking through some dreams in my dream journal, and found one (for now) that I wanted to share. After I do that, it's off to the wildlife center!
Now this one's really weird, but very symbolic:
I had a dream that we moved to a big gray house down the street because the price was so low. It was huge and cold with bare, gray walls and hardwood floors, and from the window we could see our neighbors' house from a different angle. There was a store like Wal-Mart across the street, and Mama and Julian were there while I was exploring the yard. I found a little dog and when I tried to pet it, it attacked me with ferocity. This was surprising because it looked harmless. There was a big gray manticore there that from that point on would follow me everywhere. Once I found it in the garden there was no getting rid of it--it passed through doors and covered endless distances. I was hiding from it in Wal-Mart's bathroom and of course it found me--I couldn't get anything done. We had guests over late at night--one was very rich and had bought an expensive car that she was very proud of, but we knew that if the car got in an accident it would crumple up, so she therefore would eventually die if she kept the car. But she wanted to keep it instead of exchanging it because she had gone through so much work to get it, and got angry with us. Then the manticore found its way inside again. I also noticed how huge, cold and lonely the house was.
I had this dream on 3-8-02, when I was having all kinds of problems. Back then, my sister helped me clarify it: The manticore is the voice in my head telling me I'm fat, and it follows me everywhere and won't let me get anything done. The dog is my weight loss--it seems so small at first, but then it grows in ferocity and attacks. I'm afraid to get rid of my car even though it is killing me because of all I've gone through to get this way, and now I'm too far along the road to turn back easily. The house is cold and hard because that's how everything seems now, and the store is how I used to be. *
Written in exact words from my journal as of 3-8-02.