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Stolen mercilessly from akumadaimyo - See the Amanda, Feel the Shine! [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Amanda

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Stolen mercilessly from akumadaimyo [Jan. 8th, 2006|03:50 pm]
Amanda
[Listening to |the cruxshadows--waiting to leave]

This thing is so frickin' awesome! Got such a kick out of #6.
This is one way to make an accurate argument...make the opposing one seem so ridiculous that no one could possibly take it seriously!
*thinks of other possible applications and feels suddenly VERY devious*
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10 reasons Gay Marriage is wrong:

1. Being gay is not natural. And as you know Americans have always rejected unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because, as you know, a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
[Hahahaha YES!!]

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: rewhite
2006-01-09 06:25 am (UTC)
A British woman did marry an Israeli dolphin. Seriously, though, I'm opposed to government sanctioned marriage. I think the government ought to recognize any religious marriage or any couple that says they are married. Marriage is an exclusively religious thing in which the government has no place.
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[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2006-01-13 04:42 pm (UTC)
EXACTLY!
That's another thing. Even if people are against homosexuals, who are they to take their right away to participate in something people shouldn't even need permission/licenses for anyway? It's not their place. Attachment on such a level has nothing at all to do with government.
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[User Picture]From: dungeonwriter
2006-01-09 08:17 am (UTC)
Don't forget that kids who are raised by gay children might be teased at school. That's why only perfect families (not disabled, divorced, overweight, less then attractive, poor, minority religions) are allowed to raise kids.
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[User Picture]From: rewhite
2006-01-09 08:25 am (UTC)
Yes! Parenting must be regulated! There'll be parenting licenses. It'll cost an arm and a leg to get you a license, and you must fit the government ideal.
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[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2006-01-13 04:36 pm (UTC)
Aww dang...there goes our chance of procreation! :-( lol
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[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2006-01-13 04:37 pm (UTC)
Yes! If they were allowed, it would be anarchy I tells ya, ANARCHY!!
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