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Amanda

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Cassy [Sep. 2nd, 2003|07:41 am]
Amanda
[Current Mood |depresseddepressed]

Cassy is laying on her side now. She can hardly lift her head. Before that she was in a twisted position, so when I saw her I feared the worst. But no, she's still alive. We helped her into a more comfortable position, and she seems happier now. I don't think there will be a comeback this time. She can hardly lift her head.
I haven't even been able to have a decent cry--why does this always happen to me? I go into shock and am not able to appreciate them until they are gone. I can say goodbye to them, but the emotion isn't in it because I just go numb.
I sometimes wonder, what's the point of all this if we are all going to die someday? Deep down I know that it is completely worth it, but at times like this it is hard to pay attention to this fact. I'm looking at mourning doves outside and thinking, why are they there--their lives are so short. Even shorter than that of rabbits.
Cassy is six years old. Mama saved her when she was a baby, so that she was able to live these six years with us. But why do Bisquick and Chrysanthemum still look and act young, and she is laying there? It's just not fair--the bunnies love each other, and they should be together longer. But no, we only have three out of eight left. I just don't understand life sometimes, and I have never understood death.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: misssc
2003-09-02 03:52 pm (UTC)
I am so very sorry. I too have asked myself those questions and have never reached a conclusion that made any sense. Just remember that you have given Cassy a good life. I'm sure Cassy knows you love her and if the worst does come she will no longer suffer. I have found that sometimes that is the only comfort you can get when faced with kind of loss. If you wish to talk I will listen, anytime. You can im me even if it says I'm busy. *hugs*
Sara
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[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2003-09-02 09:31 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much. Yeah, Cassy definitely knows we love her. We are all in here with her, and she looks around for us every time one of us leaves. She's been letting us pet her, and it seems to comfort her. She's doesn't seem to be afraid at all--she's just been laying there peacefully.
Thank you so much for your advice, and for your offer--if I feel like talking I'll definitely let you know.
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[User Picture]From: thedarkcrystal
2003-09-03 10:40 pm (UTC)
You did appreciate her before she was gone. And you don't seem numb to me.

It doesn't matter that their lives are short. What matters is that they are alive, for however long. What matters in life is the living of it.

Life doesn't seem fair when you look at it. That's just how it is. Cassidy was able to accept her death, and that's all we can really hope for.

I don't think anyone understands death. I don't think that we're supposed to.

*hugs*
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[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2003-09-03 11:47 pm (UTC)
Thanks--your reply helps me feel better about myself, and about Cassy.
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[User Picture]From: thedarkcrystal
2003-09-04 06:20 pm (UTC)
You're welcome. I'm glad it does.
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