?

Log in

Got verbally assaulted by middle school girls today. Go figure. - See the Amanda, Feel the Shine! [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Amanda

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

Got verbally assaulted by middle school girls today. Go figure. [Mar. 20th, 2006|07:18 pm]
Amanda
[Current Mood |confusedconfused]

For my entire life, it seems I am doomed to be preyed upon by children of the late-elementary to high school age.
What is it about me that makes them want to cause me so much damned misery? My whole school life, they made my life a living hell. Since I was 5 FRICKIN' YEARS OLD. And, still...every once in a while, I come across one. And they make sure to remind me that it still hasn't changed.

Today. Walking home, it was pouring down freezing rain (it was sunny and warm this morning so I TOTALLY wasn't dressed for this meteorological mood-swing and could no longer feel my feet). Two middle-school girls were taking up the whole sidewalk, walking VERY slowly (of course properly clothed) and so I used the flower bed to step around them and walk by.
Then, practically the WHOLE WAY HOME..."why are you walking so fast? YOO HOOOOO! WHY ARE YOU WALKING SO FAST? What crawled up your ass and died? No wonder you're ohhh so alone. Afraid we'll REALLY start saying things huh? WHAT'S YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM? WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING? I think you need a boyfriend...good luck finding one though! You're so retarded...baby wants out of the rain, huh?"

I. Did. NOTHING. I did nothing to warrant it, I said nothing to acknowledge their presence, I tried my best to not let them bother me (or at least, not to give them the satisfaction of showing them they were).
But, they did bother me. By the time I got home, I felt like a scared, self-conscious little kid again. They were frickin' what...5 years younger than me? They should not have gotten to me! They were chubby and dressed preppily and obviously out to make themselves feel better. But what bothers me is...what do they see in me that urges them to taunt me? What did those kids see all through my childhood? What do they still see? Why was I the one they naturally preyed upon? What about me makes them so bloodthirsty?

Yeah...every single time I even get into the same PROXIMITY of someone this age (namely girls, but boys much of the time too), they either:
a) try desperately to show superiority over me,
b) stare at me from afar with this "patented" look of fascination/hatred/fear/confusion (no, I don't know what it means but it's always the same look...I get it a lot on the bus),
or
c) verbally LASH OUT at me and keep switching attacks til they find one that hits home.

Now I ask...WHY??
It's always been like this. It's never changed, even though I'm so much more comfortable with myself now. I don't know if it's because I've had a bad day and my classes/exams made me feel super-stupid. Is there like, this "insecure vibe" they can read and close in on? I certainly wasn't acting insecure on the outside...I just wanted to get out of the damn rain and change my socks.

I'm actually a bit worried that my children will do this to me when they reach the appropriate age, that's how ABSOLUTELY predictable the behaviour is, lol. Of course I know this is ridiculous and they won't, but then again...I wouldn't be surprised if they did.

Does anyone have any idea why I'm such a walking target for this? I really can't understand it...I've been trying to solve this puzzle for years.
Any light you can shed on this would be greatly appreciated.
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: glacier_kitty
2006-03-20 08:32 pm (UTC)
Aww..I am a target like that too..I have no clue why..do I look weird or something?? That's a HORRIBLE thing they said...they're idiots. They woulda done the same thing if dressed like you. They just needed someone to taunt *hugs* I was never like that in middle school..
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2006-03-21 06:56 am (UTC)
Naw...from what other people are saying, they probably think you look good. They're probably jealous of you and trying to feel better about themselves by hurting you.
Oh, and of course not...that's why they taunted you, to keep your confidence down since you didn't have to prey upon people like they did. It's strange that I don't even consider you part of that age group, and Kathryn neither. You two are much different from the "typical" people in those age groups.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: just_sleeping
2006-03-20 08:57 pm (UTC)
I have always hated kids like that. I figure that people who do that are jealous for some reason or other. Their taunting just shows that they are not as good as you.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2006-03-21 06:52 am (UTC)
Good point! I should try to focus more on that next time. I mean, I know they're the ones with problems in the first place...but it makes me wonder just how insecure they really are. Their big shows of confidence are probably just the illusions they set up to feel better about themselves.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: 1pissedoffchick
2006-03-20 10:01 pm (UTC)
It's nothing against you-those kids are merely insecure. They are out looking for attention and when you don't give them the attention they so desire, they will feel threatened. The more threatened these individuals feel, they will antagonize anyone who crosses their path, no matter who they are. It is a way to supposedly make themselves feel better, but ultimately it makes them feel worse. If those kids don't get a reaction from the target, they need to find more excuses at the moment to belittle the target to keep the "rush" going to run away from their own problems. Also, those people are probably threatened because they may see qualities in you that they don't have or will never have. When individuals, in general, want to have a quality that someone else has and they are incapable of having, they will lash out. It's a jealousy and power factor. Unfortunately, we live in a society where it's "okay" to lash out at other people or thinking that other people will solve problems that cannot be solved except for the individual willing to solve his or her own problems. I find it that kids who particularly behave poorly are not getting the attention they so need at home...
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2006-03-21 06:50 am (UTC)
Thanks, that does make sense! It did seem that they were getting more frantic by the end as to what they were belting out at me. I feel sorry for people who have to content themselves through the forced belittlement/domination of others. They are pretty desperate for attention, I'm sure. A lot of times it seems like they go under this "spell", where they are almost possessed with the need to do things to hurt me or others and can't seem to let it go until it's done.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: mrfantastico
2006-03-21 01:51 am (UTC)
Simple...

You're a walking target for it because you dont do anything about it...

You should've turned around and lashed back with your words...Stand up for yourself...Be confident and dont let punk ass kids mess with you...You'll then appear more confident and people will begin to think twice before they come at you with their stupid crap
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: rewhite
2006-03-21 05:01 am (UTC)
EXACTLY what I told her.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: mrfantastico
2006-03-21 12:46 pm (UTC)
Great minds really DO think alike it seems? heheh
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2006-03-21 06:45 am (UTC)
Thank you, that could definitely be it. I wish I could...though at times like that, I can't think. Whenever I'm in a confrontation, it seems like all I can think to do is either to scream random obscenities at them, or to run away. I don't think either of those would have worked, lol.
I very much wish I could have thought of a clever, biting, obvious comeback...but again, no luck :/

Maybe I should have acted insane...lol.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: mrfantastico
2006-03-21 01:26 pm (UTC)
Remember the time you stood up to Linda and she ran away from the house like a scared little bitch??

Do that
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2006-03-21 02:04 pm (UTC)
Tganks! I'll try, lol.
Mmm. Scared little bitch...it's what's for dinner!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: rewhite
2006-03-21 05:11 am (UTC)
I used to get the same thing a lot. 7-14 year olds did it all the time. They still do, when I try being nice to them. That's what I developed the grin of death™ for.

As I told you last night, I think you should have turned around and called them IGNORANT PEASANTS. Or, perhaps, you could have told them that you have a boyfriend in New Jersey, but you doubt that they could understand the geographical distances on account of them being IGNORANT PEASANTS. Better yet, you could have taken off your socks, stuffed one in the other, and swung it around like a flail, chasing them away with a possessed look on your face, calling them IGNORANT PEASANTS, which, of course, they are.

Then again, you could have called me and had me yell at them, calling them ignorant peasants. You could have told them that you were calling a specialist, your boyfriend.

Next time, pick your choice from these options, but never, never do nothing.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2006-03-21 06:41 am (UTC)
Yeah, I can see more than ever just how bad it would be to have you as an enemy, lol. You really know how to do something right :P
I just...can't think when I'm confronted like that. I can't come up with anything clever to really sock it to them, because my brain always runs and hides.
Next time, I'll try dialing you up though...IGNORANT PEASANTS may get through, though I so wish I had a visual phone so they could see the grin of death too.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: mrfantastico
2006-03-21 02:22 pm (UTC)
Yes!

Or you could do things the patented JOSH WAY...

Aka turned around and laughed maniacally and started to twitch and then inform them that "Yes...I would like out of the rain...Because when i get wet...It comes back....heheheheheheh!!!!!!!!....WANNA SEE...!?!?!??!!!"
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2006-03-21 04:44 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha!!! Ohhh, indeed :D
That's so awesome...
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2006-03-21 04:44 pm (UTC)
I just noticed you trademarked the Grin of Death!! Omg...brilliant! :D
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: arbitration
2006-03-21 11:29 am (UTC)
Reminds me of my own experiences in some ways. While I was never a 'prime' target, I did deal with a bit of teenagers-being-jerks while in middle/high school. I realize lots of people tell you to ignore them, because you're above that/better than them and just to be confident in yourself, but in my experience, it kinda hurts no matter what attitude. I think some things that are intrinsic to the way we look/dress/act and even walk, and certain jerks who are overly confident in their social status will prey on certain people as long as they look/dress/act/walk that way. The kicker is, it's difficult to define what constitutes that specific look/walk etc. that attracts negative attention from such people, especially if you are one of the people victimized by this difference.

I realize I'm very tired, and everything I wrote is probably arbitrary and difficult to understand, but it's the most articulate way I can vocalize my opinion in my current state. After I got into college, I finally was able to make that step about 'not caring what high school kids think', though I'm not sure what caused this transition, or if it had anything at all to do with confidence or any other attribute. I'll stop rambling. In conclusion: Just do as you've been doing, and take what solace can come with venting to those close with you and the undeniable fact that such people are truly shallow arses that will likely not amount to anything.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2006-03-21 02:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you hun, I did understand it and I think that's a sound a bit of advice as anyone could take from this situation.
Cause yeah, people like that do have serious issues. I'll just try to tell myself that REPEATEDLY next time, lol. When you and I are fulfilled, happy, successful individuals, those people will be working at a gas station and have six kids and an eviction notice...or something. lol.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: rewhite
2006-03-22 04:14 am (UTC)
But it still makes more sense to hit back. That is, of course, if you can sling real zingers, as opposed to showering them with garbage like what they were doing to you. It's kind of like ending a fight, when somebody's doing all sorts of things to you, with a single, well-placed punch. (I've only pulled that off one time, and it was glorious. It's beautiful to, when somebody is bothering you, turn around and throw something they do not expect. IGNORANT PEASANTS!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2006-03-22 05:47 am (UTC)
Hahaha...you're cute :P I'm sure it was glorious.
I just wish I could think at times like that...I'll try to remember IGNORANT PEASANTS.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)