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And now the anxiety's this painful knot in my stomach and I can't… - See the Amanda, Feel the Shine! [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Amanda

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[Jun. 12th, 2006|10:01 am]
Amanda
And now the anxiety's this painful knot in my stomach and I can't make my heart stop speeding...why do I do this to myself???

People: do me a favor. NEVER take your jobs for granted. Once it is gone and you're considered undesirable like me, you'll ache for it back. Make the most of it while you have it, because you're damn lucky to be employed and getting a paycheck.
The rest of us aren't that lucky. I was, and I gave it all up without fear...and now, what? Another four months of searching lie ahead for me?

I just want to feel useful. I hate feeling jealousy and anger towards every single person who even MENTIONS their job. These people are my friends! Makes me a bad person, huh? Yet, I feel like I've earned one ten times over already and I STILL don't have one. Damn fate. I just want to get my breath back to a healthy rate world, please?
I've become one of the masses: I've let money control my life. It's one of the few things I've truly feared, and now I've let it happen...
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: rewhite
2006-06-12 04:38 pm (UTC)
Undesirable? Ha! No.

The first few turning you down just means that those jobs weren't meant for you. Bad things happen to good people to prevent worse things from happening to them.
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[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2006-06-23 02:28 pm (UTC)
Like reactivating a previous faultline through my reorganization of Staples office supplies, and casting New Jersey into the sea??
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From: alwayssnoozing
2006-06-12 04:46 pm (UTC)
I feel the exact same way you do. I'm especially pissed-off at those individuals who lie on their applications, are major druggies, and start off with $20/hour for a first time job! Such injustice...

*hugs* I'm still looking for a job too. Hopefully, we'll have good luck eventually...
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[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2006-06-23 02:27 pm (UTC)
Here's hoping...and yeah, I keep seeing these unqualified, rude, lazy, lackluster employees who are in positions I'm applying for and still can't seem to get. Where's the justice in that?
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[User Picture]From: palmer_kun
2006-06-12 07:43 pm (UTC)
Like I told you, Adecco, or other temp agencies.

Alli got TWO jobs through Adecco last summer, paying $12 an hour.

She had ZERO work experience. ZERO.

Do it.
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[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2006-06-23 02:25 pm (UTC)
I really hope that would work. The only main problem is that I don't drive, and most of those places tend to be sudden calls needing work really soon...from what I've seen, that is. Ari's parents are very kind to be driving me around places, but I'd hate to put such a burden on them. I'll try for it, though.
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