|Amanda has serious problems.
||[Aug. 8th, 2006|10:13 am]
It's Mama's birthday today. I really, really, really, REALLY miss her. All the way across the country, and here I am. All I can do is call her. There's nothing else in my power.
We stopped by Kean yesterday and found out the answers to every question we had. That helped to clear up my worries, but now that I have nothing more to worry about I'm freaking out and fabricating worries because the real ones were taken away from me so abruptly. I should be relieved but instead I'm freaking out.
Scheduling problems are cleared up. Now I simply work hard at Pathmark until the second job starts in a few weeks.
Still no photos are posted. I've been waiting and waiting to upload something, anything...just to show what I look like. I don't think I look the same as I used to, but there's no record so I don't even know.
The computer is done but it's having trouble with the network stuff. Ari says we need a cheap networking card and that'll take care of it. It's out of my control and so it scares me. Everything else on it is ready to go, yet it can't go because of that.
All these things are driving me nuts because now I have nothing tangible to worry about, and therefore they're the only things I have that can fill my need for angst. I could be happy right now if only I could let go...but I can't. It seems too easy to say all these worries are magically worked out. If I did I would worry that they weren't worked out, and that would then be a new worry. I don't even know why I'm panicking about this.
If you haven't noticed...I'm nuts with angst and I'm also panicking from being so far away from Mama today.