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I need to make an announcement... - See the Amanda, Feel the Shine! [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Amanda

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I need to make an announcement... [Dec. 28th, 2003|10:35 am]
Amanda
[Current Mood |crazyhmmm...]

I've noticed that the majority of my posts lately have been full of weird intellectual things. I kind of like them--they really help me organize my thoughts. They make me feel good about myself too...just knowing that stuff is coming out of my head really helps me.
Because for people who don't know, I have very low self-confidence. It's been getting better of late and is now the best it's ever been, but still I sometimes think other people are better than me. The fact is, and I must be realizing this, is that no one is better than everyone else.
But anyway, I need to make an announcement: I feel good about myself. I don't think I'm ugly, I don't think I'm stupid, and I don't think I'm not worthy of anything anybody else is. And I feel...happy. I still feel incomplete, but at least I have a semblance of being happy.
Crystal trimmed the dead ends off my hair. That may be a part of it. But anyway, I need to use my Christmas money to get some nice clothes. My current clothes used to be nice, but now nearly all of them are stained or falling apart.
And I need to stand up straight--when I do I'm taller than Mama. I look more confident. And I feel better about myself. The hunched-over way I usually walk is the product of many years of the "I'm not worthy!" kind of thinking.

Anyway, just a little post about how I feel. It may sound selfish, but to me it sounds healthy. And healthy is definitely what I want to be. Could you give me your opinion? Does this post sound like what a person without anorexia would consider healthy, or do I sound a little selfish?
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Comments:
From: mzgenius1
2003-12-28 07:25 pm (UTC)
To achieve self-confidence is one of the hardest things to do. I'm glad to see you feel good about yourself. I think to see all the positive qualities you have about yourself is the first step to being healthy. Yes, it does take time and there will be times when you have bad days. The challenge of dealing with confidence issues is worth it because it's a part of self-discovery.

I know exactly what it's like to have low self-esteem. I've been there for a long time. It took me to look at myself in the mirror and to realize how much I've accomplished in my life to see my self worth.

Whenever you feel down, take a look in the mirror (I know it's hard sometimes) and tell yourself how beautiful on the inside and outside you are. Realize how much you've accomplished in your life. Take some time out for yourself, like take a walk, paint, read, or write. Do what's necessary to keep your chin up.

You are definitely not selfish! You are working towards self-improvement, and to me, that is respectable.

With work and time, your self-confidence will become stronger. Just be patient with yourself.

You are doing a great job. Keep up the good work.
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[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2003-12-28 07:48 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much--I'm sorry that you have to deal with low self-esteem too. Your advice really helps. I'll remember it, and I'm sure it will help me discover who I am and help with my self-worth issues. Yeah, looking in the mirror is hard, but I forced myself to this morning and it really helped.
Anyway, thanks again, and have a great day!
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[User Picture]From: vagynafondue
2003-12-29 12:06 am (UTC)
Selfish? Not at all!

I should take a lesson from you. I have practically non-existant self esteem. There's days when I don't want to leave the house because I think I look like crap and I'm afraid for people to see me. Hearing myself say this out loud, or watching myself type it out, helps me to realize how lame it really is.

But still, it's hard to just suddenly gain self-confidence. I used to possess it - I wish it would come back:(
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[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2003-12-29 03:55 pm (UTC)
Thank you--I'm sorry you have to deal with that too. But if I can gain confidence, you definitely can. It took years for me, though. I hope your confidence comes back!
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[User Picture]From: eeepeeep
2003-12-29 12:44 am (UTC)
From my position, I think that it all sounds healthy and good.

I wish I was far along in recovery, like you are.
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[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2003-12-29 03:51 pm (UTC)
Thanks--yay, healthy and good! That's very good to hear.
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