|A resolution, and an everyone's-doing-it-so-I'll-give-it-a-try survey
||[Jan. 16th, 2004|04:37 pm]
Recommend to me:
1. A movie.
2. A book.
3. A musical artist, song, or album.
4. An LJ user not on my friends list.
Then put this in your journal to see what people recommend to you!
It's been a hard day. I know that when people are busy they are supposedly making progress and not wasting their lives, but today I feel otherwise. I feel like I have wasted this day, although I keep telling myself I haven't. And I also keep telling myself, as long as I'm happy and sorting things out I am not wasting any of my life. But that's not really working. I don't know, I just feel...useless. But I know I'm not, so how does that work?
Do I want to become a functional member of society who does exactly as they're told? Of course not. But I want my life to matter, and I feel like it really isn't at this point in my life.
Maybe this is just another attempt of my subconscious to tell me that being happy is wrong, and that I need to revert back to my normal depressed self. But I won't, d*** it! It's time to kick all these stupid symptoms out of my head, so that I can actually allow myself to be happy for more than a few days. This is crucial. And I'm going to make sure it happens. I don't want to hide from myself anymore. I want to be happy. I want to be healthy. And it will happen.