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I have a lot to write about... - See the Amanda, Feel the Shine! [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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I have a lot to write about... [Jan. 21st, 2004|08:09 am]
[Current Mood |anxiousanxious]

I realized yesterday that I don't let myself have enough fun. My family jokes and acts silly a lot of the time, and all I do is laugh along with them. I get embarrassed of making a fool of myself in front of them, and I don't know why.
With my friends it's different. I used to be the same way around them too, but now I can be "silly" when I'm with them and not care what other people think. So why not my family? It boggles the mind, since I spend more time with them than I do with my friends, and therefore know them better. But anyway, I'm way too conscious of what others think of me most of the time.

Crystal got me "Pirates of the Caribbean" for my birthday--it was great to be able to watch it again. Sure, the plot is kinda cheesy, but it is in a funny and interesting way, so I guess that's all right. Anyway, I like that movie a lot.

The birthday party plans are going as planned--isn't that amazing? So far two of my friends can come, and I'm pretty sure the one I'll call today can come too. So, I'm looking forward to that. It will be good to see everyone again. And to hike. And to talk.

Yikes, I just realized I didn't write an entry yesterday...and nothing bad happened! I was half expecting the computer to blow up or something...aaaaayyy, it's coming right at us! I'm bored. I hope you can tell.

Life is still quite amazing to me. Like the fact that five years ago, my brother wasn't with us. And then all of a sudden, there he was. Where was he before?
I don't know--sounds stupid, but it's really hard to describe. I mean, where were we before we were born? Where will we go after we die? Why are we here at all?
Ah, the questions of life. Even when I noticed how much reincarnation makes sense, it didn't answer any of these questions. If anything, it made more of them.
But it did give a general idea as to what directions the answers might lead, and to me that's something.
You know what? I'm sticking with reincarnation. It just makes sense to me, after all.

Anyway, I think I'd better go. Good bye for now, and may you all find the answers to life somewhere along your path.
(yeah, I know I sound a little too metaphorical to be entirely trusted...but oh well)
*what the heck?*