|Thoughts and dreams
||[Jan. 22nd, 2004|07:55 am]
My head is so full of thoughts these days that it feels like it will burst if I get any more. Now I understand why Dumbledore needed a penseive. I would like one too, to sort out all these thoughts, and just give my mind a break from them. I hope this isn't what it's like to be grown up. *runs away*
When I was little, I couldn't wait to grow up because I thought that, the sooner I did, the sooner I could save the world. People would see what was going on and would be willing to help, and I thought I would be the one to make this all happen.
But now that I'm seeing things as they are, and now that I've learned so much more since then, this task seems impossible for anyone short of the vast majority of the population to carry out. And I fear that getting that many people aware and willing to make many, many changes is damn near impossible. For most people, it is instinct to deny that bad things are happening, and to say "everything is okay and always will be okay". And anyone who tries to convince them otherwise is wrong.
I know this because it is my instinct too. I forget scary environmental statistics, I sometimes think that if I don't do something someone else will, and ultimately I hide. If I make a conscious effort I can see the world for what it is, but it's very, very hard for me. I'm getting better at it though. Now almost all the time the problems of our world seem very real and very frightening to me, and I don't forget them. I look around and see a sea of faces, and wonder what they're thinking. I suspect many are thinking of what's for dinner that night, or of the cars they drive, the shows they watch, their jobs.
They are thinking about their own lives. They are not thinking about what will happen to these lives if the earth can no longer support them. And I'm worried. I'm worried about everything.