||[Feb. 4th, 2004|09:33 am]
This morning I learned that Toby, the younger educational opossum at the wildlife center, passed away due to heart problems. I'll miss that little opossum--even though I didn't know him that well, it was always good to see him. But he did have a good life, and it was only a matter of time, I guess, before his heart gave him problems. I hope wherever he is right now, he's happy and content.
Sometimes I wonder what it all means. Why are we here, and what is our purpose? Do we even have a purpose, or is our purpose just to be?
I sometimes forget that I'm actually living my life. Sometimes it's like I'm watching a movie or something from someone else's point of view, and that I can escape to my REAL life at any time.
But then I get that falling feeling, like when you've realized you've forgotten something, and I'll suddenly realize that I'm ME. And then it hits me all over again...that there's no escape from me, that I'm stuck with me wherever I go, and I always will be. And the scariest thing of forgetting who I really am, and then remembering again...is that I'm scared when I actually remember who I am.
These feelings used to be very frequent when I was little. But now they're to the point where I almost have forgotten about them.
And I don't know what they mean. Do any of you?