|Breathe Amanda, breathe!
||[Feb. 21st, 2006|06:41 am]
Last night was really bad. I thought I was dying--turned out to be a panic attack, a tension headache, and severe stomach problems from the medication. Went to bed at 8 and my heart was still pounding at 10, and the frequent restroom trips weren't getting any better. Trying to tell my father how scared and in pain I was didn't do much...got my light turned off and my door slammed in my face after a shouted telling-to on how the real world's always like this and I should grow up. Should have figured as much.
Thank goodness Mama was still up when I tried calling her. She really knows how to comfort people like this. I was actually able to sleep after that!
I really need to stop putting unneccessary worries onto my plate. I need to stop it with the what-if's floating around in my head every night. No wonder my unlit room is beginning to remind me of a coffin with the lid down--I make all my worries pounce on me at such times. I can't be having more of these panic attacks. The severe pains are from the meds, so I can't do much about that...but why am I still doing this to myself? I need to chill, bigtime. I must. Everything's gonna be ok, whatever happens.
Doesn't sound like a good night. I hope you are feeling all better now.
Thank you so much hun...I am better so far today. The stomach's still kinda bad, but besides that all is hopefully well for awhile.
I find that three things help me turn off my mind before I go to sleep.
That's chocolate, coffee, and wine.
Yes, I'm weird.
Still, you need to find something that'll help you turn off your mind for bed.
And I would agree with you that your current environs will be as a coffin to you. Thankfully, you'll be moving soon enough. I reckon you'll have better support and less stress out here.
As always, I love you.
I'll give you a call from Rahway Station, I estimate that I'll be there around when you become free. The meeting after school today was canceled.
Oh, and you should have called me. I was finnishing my puttering at one.
*hug!* Thank you very much, sweetie. I really do need to find something that can do that...and yet with everything I've found, my mind finds some way to rise above it. Stupid mind, grr.
Oh, and of course I would have. This just happened after you had called for goodnight. It got worse around 11 my time. Sure, my heart hadn't been able to stop beating fast for an hour before you called, but that was all it was at the time.
And, yay! I will be looking forward to it. I'll be home by 5 your time. *huggles*
"aryeh is a Giant Ant that breathes Fire, has a Terrible Roar and Enormous Tusks, is Worshipped as a God, and lives Underwater."
Oh gosh you sound like me...I talk to my mom when I'm like that and she does a very good job of comforting me *hugs* Don't our moms just rule?
Aw, I'm sorry you have to go through that too. But yes, our moms do rule!
Just don't worry too much about worrying.... Remember what the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy says in big friendly letters: "Don't Panic" :-)
Laughs are good medicine sometimes... But I don't claim that this was that funny. So maybe a groan could help too. :-)
Haha...well I don't know what else, but your admittance to making a cheesy joke was the funniest of all ;)
And yeah, I need to try not panicking. Maybe I should begin making a habit of carrying a towel around at all times. Either that, or just stopping and thinking about my worries before I start worrying about them.
It's ok hon. It would be wonderful if it was just one day, "wow, I'm totally better. I'm suddenly the person I always wanted to be". Cept that it's a process that takes a lot of time and sometimes it's two steps forward, one to the side kinda deal. It's all about getting better, but sometimes you just gotta try to handle it while the fear leaves your system. You're gonna be just fine, and you're handling things incredibly well. *hugs*