||[Sep. 2nd, 2003|07:41 am]
Cassy is laying on her side now. She can hardly lift her head. Before that she was in a twisted position, so when I saw her I feared the worst. But no, she's still alive. We helped her into a more comfortable position, and she seems happier now. I don't think there will be a comeback this time. She can hardly lift her head.
I haven't even been able to have a decent cry--why does this always happen to me? I go into shock and am not able to appreciate them until they are gone. I can say goodbye to them, but the emotion isn't in it because I just go numb.
I sometimes wonder, what's the point of all this if we are all going to die someday? Deep down I know that it is completely worth it, but at times like this it is hard to pay attention to this fact. I'm looking at mourning doves outside and thinking, why are they there--their lives are so short. Even shorter than that of rabbits.
Cassy is six years old. Mama saved her when she was a baby, so that she was able to live these six years with us. But why do Bisquick and Chrysanthemum still look and act young, and she is laying there? It's just not fair--the bunnies love each other, and they should be together longer. But no, we only have three out of eight left. I just don't understand life sometimes, and I have never understood death.