Log in

No account? Create an account
I'm exhausted and upset and depressed (that fast, see?) - See the Amanda, Feel the Shine! [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

I'm exhausted and upset and depressed (that fast, see?) [May. 4th, 2006|05:12 pm]
[Current Mood |bitchybitchy]

I'm in a foul-ass mood. Not even the Internet is fulfilling anymore. I don't like life very much if it's this tiring. Or my job, for that matter. There's only one more week to go before the end, and all I can think of is how tired I am.
Nonstop work/school days all this week. I keep trying to visualize the money, but that's not even working anymore. Today brought long lines of nonstop, foul-mouthed, rude, ungrateful customers. It also brought me a raging tension headache. I used to LOVE work--but this week, it's like this foul-tasting medicine I have to swallow without complaint.
My voice is tired--all this vocal effort being put out to customers who don't give a damn anyway. When Ari called, I had to tell him to call later because it felt like if I said ONE more thing to anybody, I'd collapse under the weight of my own words.
I don't like having his call feel like an annoyance. I want to be excited about being there so soon! But now it seems that being excited would only waste valuable energy. There's so much being demanded of me, all at once.

I'm also finally realizing how little money $7 an hour is. I've worked my ass off today, drained all my mental and physical essence and spoiled my mood--all for $56 minus tax. It used to seem like so much money...
I can't even MASTURBATE, I'm so tired. This is what corporations do to me, and they shouldn't have this horrible power over what I can and can't do. I want my happiness back, DAMN IT--right now!

Also, time and again lately--I get an e-mail and get all excited, only to find out it's some stupid forward or an advertisement. Or I hear the phone ring, only to find out it's TELEMARKETERS. And when someone DOES miraculously call or e-mail or comment, I'm too tired to appreciate it anyway!
Well, time to expel some mental juice on homework...whoohooooo, right?

Am I seriously gonna be ok? At times like these, I childishly wish someone was there to rock me to sleep and comfort me and say everything will be alright.

[User Picture]From: rewhite
2006-05-05 11:13 am (UTC)
It's cheeper to live here because of the lower minimum wage. Plus, there's more jobs. Oh, and fuel prices are rather low out here because of much lower taxes (though they want to raise them). Add to that the most extensive and thorough public transportation in the country, and things are pretty nice.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: minuetcat
2006-05-07 07:34 am (UTC)
Woohoo! That's music to my ears at this point :)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: palmer_kun
2006-05-07 12:24 pm (UTC)
Lower minimum wage isn't always cheaper. My boyfriend lives in North Carolina, where the min wage is $5.15, and 800 is the average per month for a 2 bedroom, which is more expensive than Portland, which has higher taxes, and a much higher min wage (and also has a top-rated transit system)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: rewhite
2006-05-09 02:42 pm (UTC)
The difference is that North Carolina is in the midst of a major boom. That's the exception, not the rule. There's a ripple effect that results from shifts in the minimum wage. Everybody above the basest of workers makes a certain amount above it. Everybody wants more

When the minimum wage is higher, the work done at minimum wage and all the other wages that would have to be adjusted is not made more valuable, so the payment simply becomes worth less.

I shouldn't have said how cheep it is. It is rather that money is worth more here. That speaks nothing to the value of things out here. Here, like North Carolina, there is a boom. Ours resultant of nothing other than the boom in NYC coupled with a good economy, don't think that I can credit the State with the good state of affairs. Because lots of people want housing here and there, much more than there is available, it becomes more valuable.

In North Carolina, the prices will come down because there is a lot of building going on. The higher prices are insentive for the builders to build until the supply/demand intersection brings prices down to such a place that the incentive ceases for a while. Eventually, an equalibrium will be achieved, and housing prices there will deflate to where they ought be.

That won't happen here. There are major environmental restrictions on new construction. There is a solid stretch of city, suburb, and rare industry from well beyond New York City all the way to Princeton, cutting past the Pine Barrans and then curving up from South Jersey, leaving Vineland unto itself, and eventually reaching the Delaware and crossing into Pennsylvania, with Trenton at the north of this crossing and Philadelphia/Camden at the south. There is no more room. Every house around here is being added on to. Old houses on large lots are being torn down and five put up in their place. A few places are putting up low-rise appartments. Cranford is experimenting with a mixed use low-rise commercial/residential and parking garage building next to their train station. Rahway is tearing down most of the century-old downtown to make way for more. My own shabby house, if fixed up, is about half-a-million dollars. Our housing prices will remain inflated unless something terrible happens in NYC.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: palmer_kun
2006-05-07 12:32 pm (UTC)
Where did you get that icon? Can I swipe it?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: rewhite
2006-05-09 02:26 pm (UTC)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)