|We are whatever we choose to be. Remember that.
||[Jul. 28th, 2006|11:35 am]
I don't want to be controlled by the numbers (or lack thereof) in my bank account. I don't want the system to get to me like this. I don't want to feel my safety is at stake every time I envision an expense.
I need to stop thinking.
Another week's going by. Time is soaring...it scares me how little is left of this summer. It's hard to think of how little is left of my youth, by comparison. Yet then again, "youth" has a malleable definition. It's not only age, it's also mind. It's whatever you choose it to be.
Getting old won't be as scary as it seems, if I believe this. But, once again, the system is taking me over with its synthetic worries.
We invented linear time...time that speeds out of reach with every millisecond, taking moments with it that will never come again. Sucking the life out of us, if you will. Yet if I choose to see yearly/monthly/daily/hourly cycles as people have for thousands of years--time always returning and never lost--well then, less pain for me. This view of time is not scary, it's beautiful.
I'm better than the daily rush, right? I'm better than all those nobodys who have given in and let the tide overtake them. I can't let it win, not when I've come this far.