|The unheard prayer that's swallowed up by the night.
||[Jan. 5th, 2007|02:13 am]
Insomnia truly is for the damned. This hour is for sleepers, and if I was lucky enough I would be one of them. Do me a favor folks: don't take a full night's sleep for granted. This is the fifth night in a row I've sat awake long into the night, tired as hell and praying for sleep to come. I've dreaded the night so much. Tired all the time, yet I lay down to bed and nothing happens. I've tried every possible thing over the long hours and nothing's worked. Even sleeping pills do nothing. All they do is make me more uselessly tired. And that's right, I have work at nine tomorrow as always.
It feels like everyone in the world is sleeping and therefore unreachable, cloistered oblivious in their happy dreaming worlds without me. I'm so damn lonely and tired and it's hours until I have to "wake up". I will wake exhausted tomorrow only if I happen to be gifted with sleep before the night is over.
This is worse than hell. What have I done? Night after night, it's never-ending. These hours are not meant for me. Seclusion, exhaustion, depression, desperation, the eternally dark night just outside my window. I pray for it to end. What I wouldn't give for anybody's voice, just to know someone else is alive.