|Current turning points, future confusions
||[Oct. 3rd, 2007|07:19 pm]
This semester has brought about a lot of turning points so far, and a lot of tough choices too. I know that after it ends I'll be left up in the air again, which is forcing me to take nothing for granted. Change is good, I know, but still I dread it. The mere thought of what's coming up is making me re-prioritize my plans for the future all over again.
To put it simply:
-Ari is transferring to SUNY: Farmingdale after this semester. Due to crooked behind-the-scenes politics, Kean has been dissolving his major for quite some time now and in order to get a good education, he's following a former professor over there. It looks like he'll have a free ride because of it too, and it'll be an excellent opportunity for him. I'm excited for him but this means that he'll be attending a college that's two hours away, and I'll only get to see him on weekends.
-I'm alone in my dorm room now, since Jeannine's left. I'm enjoying the alone time (though it does get lonely at night)...however, this means that next semester I'll be placed with someone entirely random and (most likely, with my luck-to-date) have another nightmarish roommate fiasco. In addition, Ari won't be around to offer emotional support so it'll really be a struggle.
-We're getting our driver's licenses in February. The mere thought of this is enough to make my head spin with possibilities and confusions.
-I REALLY enjoyed the education field visit to the middle school last week...it further bolstered my confidence that teaching's really what I want to do. However, when I sat down to think it over I realized that my full-time (unpaid!) internship will be in Spring 2009. Then, I'll graduate just in time for summer--when school's not in session, before I have a paid position. So from January-September 2009, I'll be entirely without an income. What a scary thought...the only solution I can think of is to save up like MAD until then--which I'm already doing--and it's been very hard to set anything aside so far, being a penniless college student. So needless to say, this realization's been a big concern for me.
So, I'll put it this way: two years from now I see my life as being very good, with all its current problems worked out and tied up in a neat little package. But until then there are so many big uncertainties and rough spots that, together, are really worrying me and making my head spin. What a puzzle this life is!
I do not remember which of my prior entries I made this statement in, but it bears consideration. When you expect someone to do badly or not develop beyond a certain level, they generally meet your expectations. So if you expect to have problems with people, generally speaking they will give you problems. I know it sounds funny, but if you try contemplating what the possibilities are if a new roommate works out well, you might be surprised.
Being without an income in America sounds like an absolute nightmare, and I would be protesting the situation. The prime minister here had the gall to claim that working families have never had it better, which drew protests in two forms. One, working families cried that they were really breaking their backs to make ends meet in spite of having gross incomes that sounded luxurious twenty years ago. Two, workers without families or "disabled" individuals everywhere asked if this means they do not count when the government assesses its economic performance (a redundant question, since anyone with an eye can see they do not). One of the novels I recently wrote about describes how the banks have us on the railroad to universal servitude, creating monkey out of inkpots.
Kind of makes you want to turn to the flower-power generation and thank them for all that lovely freedom they gave us, does it not?
So long as you were previously employed, you can draw unemployment benefits from the state, which amounts to a fraction of what you'd make normally: incentive to go out and work and a staving off of bankruptcy long enough to find a job. Between the New Jersey departments of Employment, Re-Employment, and Unemployment, you can get money to hold you over, help finding a job, and even free training to make you suitable for jobs in demand.
Still, teachers have no problem finding jobs. Science teachers have trouble finding when to rest. The problem is two months of summer.
The answer, as I've told Amanda, is summer school. Almost no teachers want to work it. She could slip into a good district like Scotch Plains/Fanwood or Cranford, get paid well, and deal with lazy rich white kids who are either borderline-retarded or don't try.
And yes, I was once in such a class. The teacher told me that I knew all the material and he had no idea why I was there. Based entirely on test scores, and attendance, I left with a 99, having missed one question on one test. He also covered more material in more depth than Ms. "There Was No Tiberius Caesar" Ragozino.
Of course, the question arises of what happens when you cannot find appropriate help from the services that exist. Such is a common problem for those of us on the autistic spectrum when we are between jobs, so it's not like I just pulled that one out of nowhere. And what if you have a pervasive interest in the kind of occupation that is not in demand, so to speak?
I find that funny, considering how poor the state of science education in the Western world presently is. Ask a dozen schoolchildren around the age of twelve what they think a scientific theory is sometime. You will not know whether to laugh or cry.
The problem with Summer schools is that they are not simply a catch-all for the lazy. A lot of the children who fall through the cracks end up there. They could be autistic, sexually abused, suffering PTSD, you name it.
And you have sort of hinted at the other extant problem in today's society. Teachers today seem to take it personally when a child does not respond to their bullying, cajoling, or intimidation the way they would like. If I had known then what I know today, for example, I would have put every second schoolteacher that crossed my path in the hospital for months on end. I think in about ten years of unproductive crap, I might have met one teacher who actually taught me something and I felt safe with. That is just terrible considering our school systems were never intended as a mandatory prison sentence for being under a magic cut-off age.