|On progess, motivation, and self-actualization (hopefully this IS motivating)
||[Oct. 3rd, 2007|11:19 pm]
There's nothing like showing a picture of DNA to an 8th grader (I assume the first picture of it he ever studied closely) and having him be so INSANELY interested in its importance and so eager to find out more about it, and having him ask you question after question regarding it, and knowing that every question you answer will help plant something in his rapidly growing bank of knowledge that may be drawn from for the rest of his life. This happened during my field visit Friday, and it was so unbelievably rewarding that it almost brought me to tears right there. Not least because I felt that I COULD answer them, and in a way that he could both understand and appreciate. I passed my fascination and appreciation for Biology on to someone else.
It's such an important responsibility to have...a teacher has the power to help shape someone's intellect and to create knowledge and experiences that will form the building blocks of their entire adult lives. And, just like all other types of power, it can be used correctly or it can be abused. I think we've all been witness to each extreme and both have left impressions on us to this day. Anyway, if I master this power and learn to use it effectively, I can leave such a big impact in my wake just from my job alone. And I by no means want to stop just at that. I want to be a good mother someday, a good role model for myself and others, a good person in general. And after how far I've elevated my quality of life in the twenty years I've been around, and how good it's felt to do so...why should I be satisfied at just that? In a way, self-actualization has filled the niche the anorexia once did...the feeling I get when I know I've accomplished, improved, or overcome something...to know I've improved in a way I once thought I never could, drives the same relentless cycle of satisfaction/craving that my anorexic "progress" once did, and before that, in my childhood, the worrying and the guilt.
I look back and I'm proud...damn proud. Who says that just because something's difficult, we can't do it? Like everything else so far...I have done this, I can do it, and I will do it.