|I need to make an announcement...
||[Dec. 28th, 2003|10:35 am]
I've noticed that the majority of my posts lately have been full of weird intellectual things. I kind of like them--they really help me organize my thoughts. They make me feel good about myself too...just knowing that stuff is coming out of my head really helps me.
Because for people who don't know, I have very low self-confidence. It's been getting better of late and is now the best it's ever been, but still I sometimes think other people are better than me. The fact is, and I must be realizing this, is that no one is better than everyone else.
But anyway, I need to make an announcement: I feel good about myself. I don't think I'm ugly, I don't think I'm stupid, and I don't think I'm not worthy of anything anybody else is. And I feel...happy. I still feel incomplete, but at least I have a semblance of being happy.
Crystal trimmed the dead ends off my hair. That may be a part of it. But anyway, I need to use my Christmas money to get some nice clothes. My current clothes used to be nice, but now nearly all of them are stained or falling apart.
And I need to stand up straight--when I do I'm taller than Mama. I look more confident. And I feel better about myself. The hunched-over way I usually walk is the product of many years of the "I'm not worthy!" kind of thinking.
Anyway, just a little post about how I feel. It may sound selfish, but to me it sounds healthy. And healthy is definitely what I want to be. Could you give me your opinion? Does this post sound like what a person without anorexia would consider healthy, or do I sound a little selfish?