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Something to remember... [Jul. 26th, 2008|01:23 am]
[Current Mood |satisfiedrested!]

A lot is going on and I will update in detail today. For now, I leave you with these words of wisdom:
"Some will never see, and some will never hear, and some will never feel something more than themselves. Will you live, die, and wither to nothing, never knowing the truth of the hand you might have?....
All that you need is already planted, all that you need...you already have."

(These were written by Rogue of The Cruxshadows, in the introduction sleeve to the album Dreamcypher.)

I really must remember this. The current solutions to the problems I bring to my life are within, not without. I have the capacity to enrich my life and those of countless others. It's vitally important that I keep this in mind as I try to leave my mark upon the world.
LinkBurnt to the core but not broken...

Amazing excerpts from Tad Williams' The Dragonbone Chair [Jul. 9th, 2008|07:46 pm]
[Listening to |the cruxshadows]

I strongly recommend this if you're into fantasy, or good books in general. Every time I read the series, it puts me right into my element.

Without further ado, here are my favorite quotes!
(Pronouns have been omitted to stop spoilers)

I try to live by these words. Plus, it helps that their epic nature makes me drool:
"This is the hour at last, then, he thought wildly. Steel rang on polished witchwood. There must be honor, the thought was desperate. Even if there is no one to see it...God will see..."

Read more...Collapse )

Now onto the next book in the series!
Link2 Run to the water and find me there|Burnt to the core but not broken...

dundunDUUUN... [Jun. 16th, 2008|10:37 pm]
[Current Mood |annoyedspastic]

Two weeks from now I'll be a much happier Amanda.
Right now I'm stuck in the middle of two final projects (two lengthy powerpoint presentations and a huge-ass research paper), plus another essay/assignment. I'm also working two jobs, both of which are intensifying right now.
If I don't get these projects done by next Friday I'm screwed. But either way, on that day I'll be done. The start of summer vacation...two jobs, yes, but NO SCHOOL!!

*rubs hands together* I can't wait!...now, I must stop procrastinating and force my brain into hyperdrive!
Link1 Run to the water and find me there|Burnt to the core but not broken...

A frightening, yet philosophical dream. [Jun. 8th, 2008|03:52 pm]
[Current Mood |restlessrestless]

I had this dream about three weeks ago and it cannot seem to leave my head. I've been puzzling over its significance for quite some time and--finally!--I think I've unraveled its true meaning.

Some background: I'm re-reading Tad Williams' Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn series (absolutely thrilling, epic, GREAT fantasy if anyone's interested). Well, in the books there are these creepy things called Diggers. These are gnarled little gnome-like men, completely mindless, that travel under the ground. At night, when travel parties are camping out on the plains, they silently come out of the ground with their rusty little spades and start hacking into everyone. Even though each of them are small, slow, and easily killed, they surface in such huge numbers that they usually win out and kill the whole party. Completely frightening, disgusting little things...almost like zombies.

Tad Williams really has a knack for thinking up utterly convincing new lifeforms, so much so that the memory of these guys formed the center of my dream, even though I have yet to reach the part of the book that first
has them in it.

So anyway, the dream:
I was in a village, newly returned from a long journey. I was remembering the night before, in which all members of my traveling party (except for Ari and I) were killed by the Diggers. The two of us had fought back and managed not only to kill all the Diggers, but to remain unscathed. I was a very good, confident fighter and knew that I could do it again, with anything. Still, I feared the forms that we were left with.

We had brought the bodies of the little things back to the village because I had a feeling that if we left them unwatched, they would morph into an evil too powerful to overcome. So here I was--with all members of the village around me ignorantly celebrating some holiday--contemplating how to end the evil within these bodies once and for all. I was afraid that they would be touched; it felt like the evil would spread like a virus if they were. I knew that I must burn the bodies, so I set them afire in a steel pan.

Instead of turning to ash, these little things burned down to an evil-looking liquid with spots of black and luminous red. I had no idea how to dispose of this concentrated evil safely, and was still puzzling over it when I finally woke out of the dream.
Indeed, I've been puzzling over it for weeks--it's felt so significant! I am realizing now, though, that it was trying to show me that no matter how hard one tries to rid the world of evil, it can never be destroyed. Much like matter--which changes form but cannot be created or destroyed--evil will always exist. So instead of trying desperately to destroy evil, we must rather find ways to minimize its effects. In the dream I was contemplating ways I could dispose of it to leave the least damage. Time and again I realized that it would always find a way back into the world when it wanted to. The important thing, then, is to anticipate what should be done when evil does find its way out into our midst. There is always a way to deal with it, and there is ALWAYS a way to survive it.
Link7 Run to the water and find me there|Burnt to the core but not broken...

Um... [May. 28th, 2008|04:46 pm]
Am I stuck in a time warp?! I got a whole load of comments a while back, which seem like they were from maybe five days ago. Looking at the datestamp, though, I just realized they were left over two weeks ago! Sorry guys--I didn't realize time's whooshed by so--this is like The Twilight Zone. *goes to answer them*

By the way, here's the best quote I heard during the weekend:
"Hi. I'm Ari, and this is my pet cheesecloth!"

Ok, no more delays. *goes to catch up on you guys*
LinkBurnt to the core but not broken...

What the heck kind of mood am I in? [May. 22nd, 2008|08:53 am]
[Current Mood |calmobservant]
[Listening to |the cruxshadows--sophia]

In my three years with Barnes & Noble, this week has been the worst. I'm not exactly sure why, but the raw combination of events has brought it down to that. I've been forced to take frequent breaks for sanity, and I NEVER take breaks. Fun fun. I'm hoping for the best next week.

Camping has been moved to tomorrow, due to last weekend's rain. I keep checking the weather forecast and it's remaining resolutely at "CLEAR" for Friday/Saturday. Huzzah!
Whatever else, this is not a normal mid-May. It's been cold and rainy...so cold, in fact, that I've lost sleep from all this necessary shivering-in-bed business. I've had pajamas and 7 thick blankets, all to no avail!

As I said, we had no Internet for a while so I'm still catching up. Home at 6:00 today, though--huzzah! Whatever should I do with that free time? *gestures to LJ*
*promises to be less boring soon*
Link2 Run to the water and find me there|Burnt to the core but not broken...

*breathes sigh of relief* [May. 14th, 2008|10:47 pm]
The last three days have been packed not only with work, but with errands, appointments, and pressure. Ophthalmologist & dental appointments are done, substitute teaching application is turned in (I apparently need it for my field experience), first invasive species visit is done and successful, and my head has officially finished swimming. Plus, despite all these errands to odd places, my car is unscathed and I only got lost once! I rock, huh?

I've shown YOU, real world--now this weekend, we are going CAMPING!

*does a Mr.-Burns-style "EXCEllent..."*
LinkBurnt to the core but not broken...

I'm so damn lonely... [May. 6th, 2008|10:41 pm]
[Current Mood |depressedupset]

People keep saying how amazing it is that at 19 years of age I struck out on my own. I moved across the country and left my whole family behind. For two years I've managed to support myself and go to school full-time and, to tell you the truth, the transition was strangely easy. Even two years later, I feel miraculously set in my New Jersey ways.

This doesn't change the fact, though, that it's slowly catching up to me. I ache to see my family. I miss my little Minuet. I think reminiscently--almost romantically!--about the California landscape. I cling to memories of my childhood and my heritage because at this point, it feels like that's all I have.

Even though Ari's family feel like family and are a great comfort, they don't fulfill the same need as mine. There are some days that I burst into tears at the mere thought of my mother or sister...or my "little" brother (he's probably not so little anymore!). Even my father. I'm losing touch with all of them. I'm on another coast with no intention of ever moving back and with no hope of ever visiting regularly. My new life is here and because of this I feel so desperately alienated from these roots of mine.

No matter who's around, no one here can make this hurt go away and no matter where I find myself, my soul will always be split between two coasts.
LinkBurnt to the core but not broken...

I should be a fashion god :P [May. 6th, 2008|09:26 am]
[Current Mood |accomplishedaccomplished]

I've discovered tips to having new outfits on a budget!
1) Put some of your old clothes away for a year or so and then, when you're feeling the need for something new, bring them out again.
I'd originally done it because I don't have next to no drawer space, and now with the weather changing I've rediscovered and adopted them back. People have been complimenting me on three-year-old clothes that I used to wear quite frequently, and saying "good, you finally went shopping!" (um yeah, three years ago at Ross, lol).
2) Force yourself to combine your favorite, frequently-worn clothes into new and exciting outfits. I'm putting things together that I'd never even thought of, and the result is a whole new collection of exciting, becoming outfits that make me feel like all the clothes are new.

Yeah, a couple things about me: I love to dress up, but I despise clothes shopping and have no money anyway.
Hence these tricks--looking new and nice without the time and money!
LinkBurnt to the core but not broken...

"With insomnia, you're never really asleep and you're never really awake." [May. 3rd, 2008|11:36 am]
[Current Mood |exhaustedexhausted]

Insomnia must die a horrible, painful death. I'm not usually this vengeful but hey...I haven't gotten a decent night's sleep in over two weeks so now, Insomnia, it's personal! It's been almost a year since this magnitude of a problem has hit me and ouch, how it hurts! Additionally, I think it's begun to steal my power to reason.

In other news, I LOVE Blind Guardian's The Curse of Feanor and it's giving me a constantly renewable source of energy (YES, that's America's final solution: run the cars of the future on songs!). And WHAT a song:
...Don't fear the eyes of the dark lord!
"Morgoth!" I cried,
"All hope is gone but I swear revenge--
Hear my oath!
I will take part in your damned fate..."

In conclusion, perhaps if I get some sleep I can start writing deep, meaningful pieces of writing again! I feel like doing so, but any attempt at this point would result in my contemplation of a random stream of chaotic, groggy, misspelled words. Yeah. Something feels meaningful, but it's certainly not my brain. So, good evening everybody!--or, good day!--or whatever the heck this is called.
LinkBurnt to the core but not broken...

Amanda's Favorite Songs Vol. 4! [Apr. 30th, 2008|10:56 pm]
[Current Mood |bouncybouncy]

Here it is, my whole album. Download and enjoy!

Favorite Songs Part 1!


Favorite Songs Part 2!
Link1 Run to the water and find me there|Burnt to the core but not broken...

(no subject) [Apr. 30th, 2008|01:40 pm]
[Current Mood |bouncywheeee....]

LinkBurnt to the core but not broken...

Incoming: Amanda's Favorite Songs Vol. 4! [Apr. 29th, 2008|11:11 pm]
[Current Mood |happyhappy]

You remember how I said I had amazing songs I wanted to share with you? Well, I've decided there's so very many that I might as well make a new, kickass favorite songs CD and upload it! I won't upload it tonight, but for the record: it's made and I can't wait to share it with you guys!

Tomorrow, keep an eye out for Amanda's Favorite Songs Vol.4. It'll be yours for the taking!

Here's the track listing:

1. the cruxshadows--sophia
2. the smiths--i've started something
3. bob seger--roll me away
4. van morrison--and it stoned me
5. chubby checker--the twist
6. nightwish--i wish i had an angel
7. steppenwolf--magic carpet ride
8. live--they stood up for love
9. melissa etheridge--the late september dogs
10. chris bailey--hotel de la garre
11. morrissey--baby baby you're the world to me
12. thoushaltnot--trial by fire
13. blind guardian--the curse of feanor
14. derek & the dominos--layla
15. coldplay--white shadows
16. dvda--now you're a man!
17. morten harket--ready to go home

Eclectic tastes? Yeah, just a bit...
Link2 Run to the water and find me there|Burnt to the core but not broken...

*shifts eyes* [Apr. 15th, 2008|04:09 pm]
Sorry, still busy. I'll catch up after the end of next week at the latest. I miss all of you!
Link2 Run to the water and find me there|Burnt to the core but not broken...

*A quick bedtime note from your resident zombie* [Apr. 9th, 2008|11:05 pm]
[Current Mood |exhaustedexhausted]

There is so much music I want to share with you once this is all through. It means so much to me right now--the new songs I'm finding (and the old I'm rediscovering) carry so much meaning for me. I enjoy music even more than food right now, and that's saying a lot.

In summary:
I owe you some songs. Bigtime. You'll see what I mean soon.
Link3 Run to the water and find me there|Burnt to the core but not broken...

This is mildly interesting... [Mar. 29th, 2008|04:41 pm]

My real age is 15.5, which actually seems about right.
I'm getting tired of people looking at me in shock when they hear I'm 21...

Things are INCREDIBLY busy so I'm off to homework now. *smacks hand with ruler*--no more procrastination, Amanda!
Link6 Run to the water and find me there|Burnt to the core but not broken...

A few things: [Mar. 19th, 2008|11:32 pm]
[Current Mood |excitedanimated]

1) I am 100% for the strike against LJ regarding its infamously bad decision and newest broken promise (you can read all about it on the main page). I may be not affected by this latest "improvement" but I still know a screw-over when I see one. Making money's one thing; becoming a tactless corporate giant incapable of proper communication is another. Let alone the fact that they obviously don't give a damn about the people on here or ANYTHING that's been promised in the past.
So, where will I be on the 21st? That's right--NOT HERE.

In a happier light:
2) DRIVING IS SO MUCH FUN!! I'm finally confident about my abilities. Also, Ari fell asleep while I drove us to work one morning. Would you say he's comfortable with my driving yet, lol?
I pick up my car Saturday--YAY!

3) SPRING BREAK IS EVEN MORE FUN!!! Thus far, there have been so many wondrous memories that I wish I could collect them all and store them in a box somewhere. All these marvelous times, all in a row! Plus, it's only Wednesday!

4) I LOVE ARI SO MUCH and he makes me so happy and I feel as if I could explode with joy!
Link6 Run to the water and find me there|Burnt to the core but not broken...

Yay for funny storm stories! [Mar. 9th, 2008|10:03 pm]
[Current Mood |calmironic]

Ok, so yesterday Ari and I were driving home from a fun day at the Liberty Science Center. It was absolutely horrible weather with lots of flooding and fierce winds. Cars were being blown out of lanes and stuff. Ari and I were driving along, still quite shaken from the freeway ride (as well as the sudden THUNK of a falling tree branch that had hit the roof of the car!). We were very close to being home. Ahead of us we spotted two garbage cans that had blown out into the middle of the road. Ari, being the gentleman he is, pulled over and removed them from the road, throwing them waaaaay over onto a field to make sure they wouldn't roll back later and cause accidents. So, he throws them out and turns to get back into the driver's seat. Just as he's shutting the car door, we see one of the garbage cans sail through the air (in a perfect arc!) and land right back in the middle of the street. The can was literally was blown off of the bag it housed--we could see the bag laying placidly on the grass.

It's one of those sights that you just have to picture, lol. It was one of the most hilarious and bizarre things we had ever seen. Needless to say, we drove back laughing.
Link1 Run to the water and find me there|Burnt to the core but not broken...

An inevitable milestone of societablility. [Mar. 4th, 2008|09:51 am]
I am feeling the classic "YAAAAAAAAAY, tax refund came! My faith in humanity is restored :)" sensation.

You know that sensation, right?
Link4 Run to the water and find me there|Burnt to the core but not broken...

Fawning over an amazing, timeless epic. [Feb. 27th, 2008|12:46 pm]
[Current Mood |cheerfulcheerful]

To any of you who haven't read Beowulf: OMG, READ IT!

A couple weeks back, a painfully slow day at work was brought to me. Seven hours of no customers: just, dead. So I picked up a shelf copy of Beowulf and started reading. Lo and behold, I couldn't put it down! I read all but the last five pages that day and was aching to finish it the next.

Ari's obsessed with the story and has recommended it to me several times. He even has an e-book version on his cell phone and quotes it whenever possible; plus, he names the computers he builds after characters in it. Mine's named Hrothgar, after the wise king :P

After reading it myself I can see why he's so obsessed. This 1500-year-old epic poem is gripping, uplifting and thought-provoking, with edge-of-your-seat suspense. Indeed, Beowulf was as close as one gets to a REAL man: he was a strong protector capable of amazing feats, yet he never let it get to his head. He was wise, humble, and righteous. He was as fierce in his loyalties as he was in combat. He truly was "the greatest man that lived".

Plus, after reading this I finally know what inspired JRR Tolkien's style of writing. The prose in Beowulf, as translated from Anglo-Saxon, matches the passages found in his works. As a translator and scholar of Old English, he would have wished to mirror his writing on the old masterpieces he studied.

I cannot say enough how much I loved this epic. Read it, read it, and you'll see!
LinkBurnt to the core but not broken...

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